Greedy Goblin

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Introduction to goblin philosophy

Some goblins not only lived the goblin way but could also explain it for me in Ratchet. Such were Dizzywig and Gazlow. However they were just hobby-philosophers, unlike Xixil Makspocket in Booty bay. He is one of the real goblin philosophers, the trick-tellers. The trick-tellers make their living by selling their tricks to others. Goblins visit them for their tricky questions which need wits and wisdom to solve. If the one successfully solves the trick, he get his money back. If not, the trick-teller keeps the money and explains the trick. Goblins widely believe that solving tricks makes one smarter and more fit to be successful as a businessmen. Since the teller only keeps his money if the trick was hard, no dumb goblin can set up such business.

As I approached he smiled not with the normal goblin "let's make business" smile, but with a more honest smile of joy. As soon as he started asking questions about the paladin philosophy, I found out not only that he is interested in different cultures but also that Gazlowe most probably got money from him for sending me to him. After I revealed this idea to him, he smiled and accepted that he seek wisdom from every possible way to elaborate his tricks. He quickly agreed to trade trick for trick. Goblin philosophy for paladin. We talked a lot and from time to time I will return to him, and write about what we found out.

Be warned: goblin philosophy can be easily found offensive or evil to many people. So read these posts only if you are open to controversial ideas.
For example the goblins don't believe in the existence of moral. According to them, there is no right and wrong, just effective and stupid. The point of view of each "trick" is different and the result differs accordingly. Some tricks are to be solved from the point of view of an individual, a group or a whole city. The tricks are to be solved according to the interest of the individual or group of the point of view and any others are neglected. This is usually called "inhumane" or "selfish" by humans so be warned again. For example the common trick asks:
- A young goblin sneaks into someone else's house, breaks an expensive vase for fun and manage to elude capture. From his point of view was he effective or dumb?
- A dumb goblin would say he was effective since he managed to do what he wanted. Wrong answer.
- A human would say, he was wrong and evil therefore couldn't be effective. The trick teller would not say it's a wrong answer, he would say it's not an answer to the question. No one asked the evaluation of the action from the point of view of the city security forces or the city itself.
- The solution is: he was dumb, since he could steal the vase instead of breaking it. He just risked his hide for nothing.

But against all accusations the goblin philosophy is positive. Tricks can be solved from the point of a bigger group for the good of it. Above the door of
Xixil Makspocket lies: "The one who solves all the tricks from the point of view of the whole world will change the world into a golden fountain". Considering the goblin's addiction to gold, it means something like paradise. We'll see!

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