Greedy Goblin

Monday, September 7, 2009

Failbot needed

I've seen a brilliant comic on Noobz. Please check it out, really worth it.

Now comes the suggestion! Update KevMar wrote it. Great job!

Someone could write the "noobdetector" from the comic. I mean an addon that scans global, trade and guild channels and marks immature or stupid behavior. Then it could write the noobness count to the social page or the chat window when I shift-click a name like
[XXXXX] lvl 78 tauren warrior Dalaran 74% Noob

The 74% is orange because it's high warning not to group with him. The % would be equated from "noob statements"/"all statements". So if someone talks for 2 pages and has 2 "lol"-s, he has 0.2% noobness, while 2 "lol"-s in one line would be like 80%.

The things the addon should seek:
  • "lol": obvious
  • "XDDDDD" "SDDDD" ":DDD" and other idiotic variants of the smily
  • l33t: I refuse to explain this
  • "plx", "peeps", "m8s", "duds" and other unquestionable evidences of age below 13
  • "Megan Fox": Once, 5-10 years from now, when you'll have a job and an own flat, girls will stop laughing when you ask them out. Some will respectfully decline, some will say yes. They won't be film actresses, but they will be blood and flesh women. Until then, keep your ideas to yourself and WASH YOUR HAND before touching the mouse.
  • "boost" in any variation except "selling boosts for 100+ gold"
  • "help me": this should be on whisper to friends and not to some general channel
  • "I'm stoned/high/wasted": it's good to know that you come to perform challenging group activity with me in highly intoxicated state
  • "I PWN": congratulations for it. I don't want to disturb your highly rewarding activity of killing lvl 20 players with group invites or such. Ever.
  • "I'm ungeared for this": then don't be here punk!

Someone could also write a BG failbot that spams something like: "X failed by leaving Lumber Mill while less than 2 defenders left", "Y failed by entering PvP combat in the middle of nowhere", "Z failed by attacking an enemy player while enemy demolisher was in his range", "W failed by not mounting demolisher as gunner", "AA failed by running for the flag while the group had less than 3 towers", "BB failed by riding by Stoneheart Bunker", "CC failed by ganking on enemy GY instead of attacking the flag carrier".

PS: when read Graylo's blog being 2 years old, I've checked mine and my first post was done one year ago yesterday. It was an RP post about my long-long abandoned paladin. It's strange when I think of doing this for a year. The blog changed a lot, RP abandoned, much more M&S bashing philosophies and such. Like it or not, it seems it's here to stay.


Gabesz said...

One possibility is a (modified) Vanas Kos addon, which is made to remember gankers on PvP realms. If its modified correctly, it could remember M&S and you can use it to avoid them, and you can even help other goblins (and/or guildmates)to avoid them.

Anonymous said...

There is an addon called karma and you can add people to the list and down rate them so you know before hand or even when you get into a party with them, downside is, you have to do it your self

Rob said...

Why bother rating M&S tards or even listing them by karma - ignore clearly is the way to go: It's quick, clean and if you ever run out of slots there are addons to increase the number of people you can ignore.

You're clearly giving them too much credit.

DarkKnight said...

That add-on would be so my new favourite add-on. Although I admit that I also from time to time switch to "childish"-mode if I get a bit fed up of it all or just want to mock around a bit.

Tbh, the add-on should be possible, would just be a text parser. Only problem might be that the database will get rather large, or actually linking it with e.g. the Prat database is probably a solution.

On another note: I had my first "hatemail" yesterday, with the brilliant subject "thanks" and with the text "for undercutting me on my auctions, geeezz".
It made me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Gevlon said...

@Rob: because the software runs in the background, even on channels you turned off or when you are AFK. For example I don't watch /trade while milling but read blogs and WoW runs in a small window.

The addon would rate strangers automatically. When he finally encounters me, I'll have data about them without me personally did any effort to collect it.

Larísa said...

It felt funny to re-read that post from last year and my comment on it. You hadn't quite found your blogging voice yet at that point. Still I think it was somehow cute and innocent. A not-yet-famous Gevlon, starting out a business which would grow bigger and more famous than anyone (except for you, I guess) would have expected.

Anyway: big grats to your anniversary! You've done very well and I think only one who blogs himself can truly understand and appreciate all the work you've put into this blog. To write a handfull of posts out of the first rush of inspiration when you start a new blog is one thing. To keep writing day after day, week after week for a whole year is altogeather different.


Sidhe said...

Gratz on the anniversary, Gevlon!

I hope you make a post about jewelcrafting soon. I would send you a mial explaining the situation on my server but I know you already get lots of them... I don't want to bother (or get lost in the mailbox haha)

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog. Gratz on one year! I am slowly reading the old blogs, so forgive me but what is M&S? Thanks

Sidhe said...

@Anonymous: M&S means "Morons and Slackers"

It used to be written on the top panel of the page.

Anonymous said...

"X failed by leaving Lumber Mill while less than 2 defenders left", "AA failed by running for the flag while the group had less than 3 towers", "BB failed by riding by Stoneheart Bunker"


Good Lord, PVP failbot has to be one of the best ideas that I have ever seen posted anywhere about WoW.

Eaten by a Grue said...

I am not sure this is so much a noob detector as an idiot detector.

Anonymous said...

There is an addon out there that tracks people incoming and leaving in Bgs. I dont use it myself so i dont know the name or how automated it is though. but ive seen people say "5 incoming lumbermil. 1 defending" and it was definetly an addon.

Wooly said...

I miss the most important one: anyone that writes "ur" and "u" instead of your/you're and you is a sure bet failure. It's pretty acurate, so try it out. Won me quite a few semi-pug bets on "who will be the idiot pugmember". Of course, you don't need an addon to detect idiots. Sure, it's nice to be able to remain seemingly innocent, blaming the addon for calling anyone an idiot.

Then again, you can always say it yourself and just make up that it's an addon you're beta testing for a friend.

Wooly said...

I see one hell of a contradiction compared to previous posts:

"I'm ungeared for this"

Should of course get the response:

"What are you talking about, gear is just a myth"

Sidhe said...

Hey Gevlon! I found this interesting video on (former wow insider) moviewatch.

I think it's appropiate to share it with the golbin community. It's kinda funny:

One said...

For everyone who is familiar with german i have found this funny thread
Someone complains about a "Bot" running the AH, was a pretty funny read :D

KevMar said...

Here is a simple little mod I wrote that shows just how easy this could be to make. Thanks for the idea.

KevTool: NoobDetector

Carra said...

Asking for help in /random might just be players who are new to the game and not guilded yet.

And discussing Megan Fox would be one of the more interesting subjects in general chat.

Graylo said...

Grats on a Year of blogging.

Ghostlight said...


It's not really a contradiction. The post you're referring shows that skill can replace gear.
Saying that you're ungeared is an implicit admission that you don't have the skill to replace that gear.

DarkKnight said...

@Ghostlight: Damn you. I was just typing the same, when I totally scrolled to the bottom only to find your post there already.

ps. Quite often I see people (even in gchat) say the famous: "I doubt I am geared for that instance/encounter/whatever". Unless it is a tank with 300 defense (yes, I know, impossible at level 80, but just play along with me here, okay) or a healer with 1000 spellpower, I just answer: "Gear is overrated." My standard reply to all those kind of comments, actually.

Wooly said...


You're stepping into the risky zone of interpretations there, I prefer to stay very far away from that if you don't mind.

BTW, I just meant it jokingly anyway. Personally I actually find it a good thing if somebody is able to notion that he's undergeared for something. True M&S would never consider themselves undergeared, that though wouldn't even mildly cross their mind and they happily respond to any 25 raid LFM in their unenchanted, ungemmed questing greens.

Anonymous said...

Basic Assumption and Discernment System: B.A.D.S.

When gauging whether to take a new member into your formulating PUG, run through this checklist. All you need to know is his name, title, guild, class, and race!

Every prospective member of your PUG starts with a default score of 0.

Let's begin.

Step 1 - Are they some form of elf? If so, subtract one point. If they are are some form of elf hunter, subtract two points. If they are some form of elf death knight, subtract three points.

Step 2 - They're not an elf? Add one point, unless they possess a mohawk or the "sephiroth" hairdo, in which case they get nothing.

Step 3 - Subtract one point if their name includes any of these phrases: killer, death, dark, murder, revenge, blood, gank, sux, nub, legolas, or the Xx-name-xX bracketing style.

Step 4 - Subtract one point if their name contains any strange symbols that are impossible to type normally. If their name meets this criteria as well as that of step 3's, they are instantly disqualified. If you cannot resist the urge to point out how ridiculous their names are, remember "Ü╣#æ╕τ↑" is a powerful insult in their mysterious gibberish language.

Step 5 - Add one point if their guild name makes some sort of sense - "Eternal Guardians", "Army of the Horde", and "Alliance Defenders" are all passable names. Subtract two points if their guild name seems to be cobbled together from random words, such as "Final Chaos", "Deathkillers", or "Nightdagger Darkmen".

Step 6 - Subtract one point if their character name is violently at odds with their character's gender. For example, "troyaikman", female night elf rogue.

Step 7 - Subtract one point if they are unguilded and still wearing a blank tabard. Subtract an additional point if they are missing the pupils of their eyes, giving them away as children of the corn.

Step 8 - Subtract five points if the first thing they say in party chat has anything to do with: Their mom being mean, how awesome a certain band is, how they just owned some nub, or some sort of estimate as to how high they are right now, man.

Step 9 - If they are displaying the Jenkins title, subtract five points. If they are also part of a guild whose name references Jenkins, subtract an additional five points. If they are "Jenkins Jenkins The Jenkinses", you have stumbled upon an abomination and it is your responsibility to destroy it before it harms anyone else.

Step 10 - Once in your group, take a look at how close they are to the instance when they ask "can i get a summon"? If they are are the second-closest, subtract one point. If they are the closest, choose a friend to come with you to Uldaman and summon him to there. Then kick him from the group.

Step 11 - Typing in coherent sentences earns them a point. They lose a point if they choose to use voice chat, but you cannot hear them over the My Chemical Romance music in the background.

Once the points are all tallied up, check the chart below for your results.

3+ Points: A paragon of worthiness. Act quickly before someone else snaps them up.
2 Points: They pass with flying colors. Worth an invite.
-1 to 1 Point: You could do better, but you could also do worse. Try flipping a coin.
-5 to -2 Points: Congratulations, you've encountered your average WoW player.
-5 Points or Below: You've probably just been propositioned by an unguilded night elf or blood elf death knight with the Jenkins title. Do not panic. Consider defusing this potentially hostile situation with phrases they can understand, like "naw man changed my mind gonna go play ff7 again peace" or "i had to disband the group bro, WWE wrestling just came on and two chicks are gonna fight on a giant marshmallow".

Gibbiex said...

Sure sign of an idiot in a PUG raid = 'what's vent'. 'my mic is broken' (then this person procedes to a) absolutely have no clue, b) rag on some other guy).

Anonymous said...

Hmm. I am selling boosts (arena boosts). "I'm stoned/high/wasted" sometimes which I usually say when playing on saturday evenings (usually grinding demonic runes/vanity stuff) if I sleep at my own place. Drinking 1l water is required to avoid the hangover. I still do 5mans as dps, I warn the healer about my state. I still manage to do 4000 dps or so, due to it being routine. What is my score?