Greedy Goblin

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

I hate to ruin the parade of Pandemic Horde, but

Pandemic Horde posters are having a blast on Reddit. Their smug and cheer is at levels that would make an SMA announcement look modest. They are celebrating that they managed to plant the idea of the absolutely nonsensical tinfoil conspiracy in the head of the "spymaster" and he made a fool of himself announcing that "Pandemic Horde is forming a coalition with BNI and TEST to destroy the Imperium" and then marching his minions to Cloud Ring just to find the timers in AUTZ and the "huge fleet to dunk" being actually a convoy that moved trough wormholes carrying the modest belongings of PH members to Delve. They are still flying around, losing stragglers to gatecamps and being mad at having 200 people in fleet but no one with Entosis module. As the ultimate troll, PH managed to replant the destroyed TCU in W-4NUU.

Yes, PH earned it. They are just killing things, not caring about sov or whatnot and easily evaded the lumbering Imperium beast. They are growing, they are ferocious, they are winning and above all they are having fun, both while playing EVE and at making fun at the magnificent failure of the Goon propaganda book. They feel that they are the future, they are the new spark that will make fires everywhere.

Sorry newbeans, you are gravely mistaken. Let me remind you something that you probably know but exiled into the back of your mind:

You remember Grath Telkin, your boss?! You can have your fun all day, but he is the one with the last word in your fleets. The book you are laughing at is his book too! Do you think he'll lead you into real war against anyone? Just look at history: Pandemic Legion, the oh-so-elite place you aspire for spent the last year ... farming Brave Newbies. Must have been a real challenge to their skills. They got fights by literally making a deal with the BNI leadership that if they form someone to kill, PL will spare their stations. Of course this event will be fictionalized in the book "The Catch War"! I already know a great pitch line: "it was a come from behind win since Pandemic Legion was relatively weak at the beginning of it". Just don't forget to pledge, little ones!

Goons weren't always like this. They first came in Rifters, ready to fight the power, just because it was there. They welped and came back in new Rifters. Then Caracals. Finally in their iconic Drakes. It was a long way from there to medium shield booster Chimeras, but they made it. You'll make it too under the wise leadership of Grath Telkin. Look at the Goons dear newbeans and see yourself in two years! Today you laugh on the-man-in-the-wizzard-hat for his "sort of war game to promote content", but the joke is on you as the idea was originally made by Shadoo in 2012. He was the leader of Pandemic Legion and his proposed wargame took place in ... Cloud Ring. It didn't came true because TEST gave a finger and went all in against the Imperium, believing PL, NC. and S2N on their side. You know what happened instead? They turned on TEST and farmed its fleets for "good fights". Have you noticed that all these battle reports were written by Elsie Randolph for You know Elsie and TMC, right?

PH/WF/PL/BNI/Others did not deny Mitten's deal which would begin a sort of war game. They merely won that game and probably Grath, Penif and Elsie are being very smug at their friend The Mittani over at Jabberlon 5. There will be a next round and a next. You'll probably win most because Goons are getting old and overly cautious due to their "multi-thousand-dollars media empire". But you are still playing their game, making sure that game monetizers decide the future of Nullsec on Jabberlon 5. Every day in PH you are fighting for the thing you are laughing at.

By the way, MoA is recruiting, since they have more content than they can consume!

PS, because funny pictures are funny:
By the way, my offer stands: if Wrik's corp leaves PL and joins an alliance that actually fights (MoA, OOS, Project Mayhem in nullsec), he gets the wardec costs for his alt alliance. Update: it seems that Hoover is on a mission in recruiting all kind of "controversial" players. I'd like to stress that I didn't say no because of DYSON, but because of DYSON in PL. I also can't stop thinking about the ultimate troll of that crew killing Goons. I mean can you imagine bigger humiliation to a Goon than having Baki, Wrik and me on his medium shield booster carrier loss? Also, must recruit HarryForever!


Anonymous said...

"The book you are laughing at is his book too"

He backed the book....he didnt write the book.

But, can we now look forward to your campaign to destroy PL as well? Seeing as they must be goon pets, because he backed the book.

Gevlon said...

I never called them "goon pets". I called them "goon partners in monetization". I don't think they need to be destroyed like the evil Goons. After all, they aren't doing much evil. But hoping that they can be any part of defeating Goons is bizarre.

Stabs said...

You would have been magnificent in DYSON.

Anonymous said...

Wrik's collection would be complete if you joined:)

Gevlon said...

It's not the first time he invited me. I declined once about a year ago, because of BoTLord treaty.

Ryanis said...

There is a system named YI-8ZM in cloud ring nobody speaks about. But, for now, Beyond Frontier is still defending it alone against Goons.
- They needed 4h to entosis station, TCU and IHub, 200 against 5 on Saturday.
- They failed to secure station and TCU yesterday.
- IHub is back online.
If they want to take the system, they need to start again and line members are getting bored, knowing that they don't get any fun while we do.

That's where Goons failed.

Hamlyn Medley said...

whats with HarryForever? I mean, I googled him but no actual history on him... only trolling and more trolling...
From what I see he fights goons!? Is that it? But MoA does so what is so special about him?

Gevlon said...

@Hamlyn: It's a joke. He is a troll and Goons are irritated by him. That's all. Also, the end of the post about the troll army is a "PS", therefore not to be taken any seriously.

Theta 4 ever said...

Theta Squad loves Harry Forever! You be nice to him. He's committed to bringing down GoonWaffe, and we're ready to cheer him on.

Also, we cordially request the honor of your presence in Deklein to kill our medium shield booster Chimeras. Please bring friends...or in your case, associates. You should lead a fleet of hundreds of MOA bombers personally!

Anonymous said...

You should join Dyson. Wrik is hilarious fun. You'd be laughing like that for your whole time there.

Plus, imagine the posting on I might come back to read that.

Grath's out of PL leadership btw. He stepped down. Elise is holding the reins with a few others. And PL leadership is an oligarchy based on who is active, who has the forceful personality, and who is providing content. There isn't 'one man calling the shots at the top.'

Gevlon said...

I don't want hilarious fun. I want to defeat Goons. And PL - with or without Grath - will never commit against anyone but BRAVE. I remember how you ran after B-R, abandoning your allies!

Anonymous said...

You should try hilarious fun. A good chuckle is good for the soul. And joining Dyson and enjoying Wrik Hoover's various antics doesn't detract from killing Goons in any way.

With regard to B-R, N3 pulled back at the same time we did. We suffered an enormous defeat. On top of that, most of our line members' combat assets were locked in that station. PL pulled back to the northern front and fought Black Legion's invasion of the dronelands with the CFC D-team and Nulli and NC. rode bikes for a week while Goons hellcamped their staging. A week later the CFC pulled out of the war, N3 and PL came back south and purged the Russians, and the Rusian alliance splintered and died.

Sounds to me like we won the war post B-R.