Greedy Goblin

Thursday, May 12, 2011

The ultimate winning strategy

Have you lost many Tol Barad fights due to drooling morons who are unable to understand "fight inside"? Would you like some magic way to win easily, always and by large margin? I mean winning assault in 4-5 mins, or winning defense with holding all 3 bases most of the time? Seeing only 1/3 of your team at ICG, getting all of the enemy zerging on you and wipe them? It is possible!

Every time I wrote about TB, WG, battlegrounds, I got social comments like "you cannot enforce them to play well", "you have to respect fellow players", "they pay $15 like you so have the right to play their own way" or "you could win more by being less critical". In the spirit of "a billion flies can't be wrong, manure must taste sweet" I choose to adapt a much more social way of fighting TB. An accepting one. One that doesn't criticize players. One that encourages them to do according to their abilities instead of some external standard. One that values every human being. And it works!

Behold my new, friendly, socials, accepting, non-critical, non-judgmental macro: "/2 Tol Barad battle is coming. We need every good peeps to win. Come and queue up! Everyone is welcomed, gear or no-life skills are not needed! The more the better! LET'S PWN THE ALLIANCE!". Honestly. I just use it a few times before battle and the victory is guaranteed. Yay for the power of love, let's celebrate the victory of goodness and respect over nerdrage my brothers!!

You think I'm joking? No I'm not. I really use this macro and we really always win when I do. Try it out! Make the macro and use it, and watch the miracle of love happening!

One little technical detail: never-ever do it on your side! Log to an opposing side alt and do it there! Tol Barad is 1 vs 1, so every "peep" you recruit to the battle will take the place of someone who might be able to interrupt, focus-DPS, has resilience and even capable of the totally no-lifer action of fighting inside a base.

If you want to be really amazed, use it in the middle of an assault fight on off hours. You'll be fighting against 10-20 die-hard PvP-ers. Then log to the opposing side and use the macro. Log back and see that the battle grown to 30-40 people and now you are smashing them like trashmobs.

I can't imagine more clear and obvious proof of the a-social ideas. Who can you recruit? People who "hang out" and chat on a city. Trade chat is invisible in a dungeon, BG or questing zone. The players who are busy doing something (including the newbies who are busy questing or doing normal dungeons), can't be called by it. Only the "fun ppl" who are not playing just chatting with "friends" are reached and lured in. Your devastating victory over them is the ultimate proof of their worthlessness. This is the a-social point to prove. Not gear, and not even game skill decides victory (nothing stops fresh 85s to queue up), but real life priorities: do you value success or social fun?

PS: of course if the opposing faction recruits too, it become scorched Earth, as both teams will be filled by lolling filth. You can use the feature "join as a group" to counter that. Either you all get in (and win), or none of you (and you don't lose time).

Yesterday's failguild presented an obvious form of amusement: moron of the day. Check out this specimen! Ignore the 8 missing enchants, 9 missing gems and 2 missing major glyph, that's just boring. Focus on his trinket. The one he bought for honor points, choosing it from other equally priced alternatives. Update: he fixed it! He no longer has a spirit trinket! No gems enchants yet though.


Espoire said...

This post is an excellent piece of comedy, but it's hardly a secret, we've been doing something along those lines for years now.

In WG we used to have someone make vehicles on the other team, drive them somewhere stupid, and then abandon them so they can go waste another vehicle slot.

I also recall false "OMG, the enemy is at location X" reports during Halaa fights.

Fex said...

both of those take place in the battleground. Blizz considers them cheating as you are effectively sabotaging the game for horde during the battle.

The /2 macro thing isn't cheating. There is nothing against the rules recruiting more players into a battleground. Especially not if you yourself don't que.

Anonymous said...

Nice talents, too. And frost-only glyphs to go with the blood build.

Sthenno said...

Well, normally I take Gevlon's claims to have foolproof winning strategies with a grain of salt. This one is pretty remarkable, however. Despite the obvious malice involved, I don't even think I can disapprove of the tactic because both the means and the end are simply encouraging people to play.

It may suffer diminishing returns, though, as if it works the losing side will get the impression they can't win, that will eventually become common knowledge, and then you'll have only the serious PvPers from that side queuing up. That, I guess, would restart the cycle if it happened.

@Espoire: Having actual saboteurs who use up enemy vehicle slots is nothing like this tactic at all. It is outright cheating, and probably worthy of a temporary ban.

Oxidation said...

Quite the "specimen" indeed.

I have no words.

Anonymous said...

Playing horde on Agamaggan, it's quite hilarious seeing Glotan pop on and deliver this line in trade after reading this post.

Surprisingly effective, too, judging by how often Tol Barad is held by the alliance.

Terathis said...

I'll bet he turns into a real fighting machine when he gets the 5 haste proc from Lifeblood (Rank 1).

Azzur said...

The method is hilarious and I'm sure very effective!

dehna said...

Hm, if this specimen is in a social and friendly guild, why hasn't anyone pointed out to him that this trinket might not be the best for him?

Or at least, someone could have ridiculed him on /w or chat? He must have received a whisper or two...

Matt said...

You might want to remove the part of the moron's trinket, he seems to have replaced it with a critical strike rating.

As for the actual post: that's actually quite ingenious, gonna have to try that out sometime.

Taladar said...

Heh, I never noticed before that the WoW armory has little red exclamation marks (!) on those pieces of gear that are ungemmed and/or unenchanted. Something recent, I guess.

Now there is NO excuse to have no gems/enchants.

nightgerbil said...

take a look at his weapon. he reforged his mastery to dodge but left the haste alone. Awesum tankyness. Cant wait to meet him in the troll heroic pugs!!!

Herrier said...

Interesting Macro. Will try it tonight, we always win (Horde) we might want to keep them off our bases and get from 9 out of 10 wins to total domination.