Greedy Goblin

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Weekend minipost: the truth about Jehova's Withnesses

I've always knew there is something going on behind that annoying smile when they show up at your door and ask "do you want to speak about the Bible?" I always sensed some dark conspiracy about them but couldn't figure it out. However when their membership was counted in Iceland for the National Registry, it all became clear:

I knew it!


Marek Zaborowski said...

Yehovian witnessed are almost as annoying, as these damned antisocial randians!

Anonymous said...

I find all foot-in-the-door tactics annoying, including those perpetrated by organisations like the Jehovah's Witnesses.

When I was a child, we received random visits from encyclopaedia salesmen (it was always men) to Hoover pushers. A polite 'no thank you' from the Lady of the House (it was always the Lady) usually did the trick.

No more. We're now subjected to carefully targeted campaigns from glaziers, landscape gardeners, financial and legal vultures, Viagra vendors and a multitude of other scallywags.

Of course this is rarely conducted on the doorstep. Telephone and email cold-calling and American-style blanket bombing are the modern tactics.

Consumer advice about how to limit or prevent these intrusions (backed up by Government legislation) is rarely as robust as the assaults themselves, at least here in the UK where I live.

They continue to do it because yes, there are people who actually click the link, say 'ok' or (God help us) 'request a visit from one of our friendly Sales Team'. If I could get hold of those marks I'd confiscate their wretched equipment. Because they're the reason we're still having our privacy invaded.

But all these things can be ignored if we're not interested. It won't stop them, but wastes less of our time. The foot-in-the-door JW is not so easily dismissed. His modus operandi (as a nod in the direction of modernity it's now his *and* her) is, like their peculiar brand of Christianity, a relic of a bygone age.

The Hoover salesman put his machine into the boot of his car long ago and moved online; encyclopaedias have been supplanted by Wiki. Someone should politely suggest to the JWs that they take advantage of modern developments in tele- and internet-marketing and keep their damned feet off our doorsteps.

Fortunately, I'm no longer troubled by them. Twenty or so years ago they knocked on my front door. I listened to their opening spiel and smiled broadly. Aha! They thought they'd scored another hit. I spoke briefly, quietly and politely to them. They turned on their heels and I never saw them again.

Shall I share with you this effective technique? Send me £10 and it can be yours! O alright. I told them that my family and I were devout Muslims. That shut them up. For good.